Wednesday 3 June 2015

The NBA Finals - a reasonably unthought-through but somewhat rational prediction

This is a Fans Prediction,

Warrior in 5



I hope I am wrong. I really hope this series is extremely competitive and I hope it goes to 7. In fact in a lot of ways, as a fan I don't want the Warriors to win at all (not to mention that I also do not want the Cavs to win either) but I just think they will.
There is an overwhelming amount of the media that are picking the Cavs, and by overwhelming I mean I've seen a few.
I saw one member whom I will not name actually picked the Cavs in 5.

Personally, I cannot see the Cavs winning, it defies all logic. The single palpable argument, is Lebron James, who is still the best player in the world and thus the series. Besides him, I'm sorry Cleveland, but the rest of the team just isn't that good, especially with all the players they have missing.

Plus, the Warriors, if you have been living under a rock, with your head in a paper bag whilst dead for the past year, you may not know, are actually really-really good.

Firstly they have the best defense in the league. - "Yeah but the Cavs have been playing amazing defense recently as well."


Well sure, and I'm not even going to argue that this is only due to the childish East, because I don't believe that. I agree in fact, they have have been playing great defence. Although not one that can stifle the Warriors. There is always going to be a mismatch, because Kyrie can't defend Steph Curry, the Warriors move the ball too well, their motions are too fast and their level of Basketball IQ is so much higher than any other team the Cavs have had to defend throughout these playoffs. Not to mention the fact that great defense rarely affects Steph anyway.

The Warriors are deep. The Cavs are not. - "Yeah but like, Delly and stuff,"

I repeat myself, the Warriors are deep, the Cavs are not.

Secondly the Warriors have Steph. - "Yeah, but the Cavs have Lebron?"

Yes I agree and I understand that Lebron is the best player in this series. As Bill Simmons regularly says, "its hard to bet against the best player in the series," I quite often agree.
Although I don't think that Steph is that far behind the King. With what that lightningly fast release and extremely high percentage does to defenses, (not to mention his passing, handle, leadership, above average far better than Kyrie defense and adorable offspring), I'm really not sure the gap between the two superstars is that large anymore. Especially when Lebron is shooting the ball with percentages that compare to the rate at which I successfully am able to complete menial tasks.

This Video from ESPN gives some extra stats which explains their winning precedent nicely.




Lastly, I'm really not that confident with this rather un-close series prediction!  - "Yeah well I love Cavs nation and am heaps confident about myself."

I am about as confident with this prediction as I am with my own physical appearance. I do question this prediction. The Cavs still have Lebron, maybe their defense is good enough, maybe Kyrie's injury wont be a problem, possibly the offensive rebounding will put them ahead. I'm really not that confident.

But I just don't think the Cavs are that good. I think we are talking ourselves into thinking that they are. Maybe because we have had so long to think about it, or maybe they actually are and all these signs are telling the full truth, but I don't know. I think Lebron is the best player in the world. But I don't think the Cavs are that great. And by that, I mean I don't think they are good enough to beat the Warriors.

Warriors in a tightly fought 5 game series.

Tuesday 2 June 2015

Camp Rondo; How to be Relevant in the Future NBA


Get ready kids, CampRondo is coming your way, intent on developing the superstars of the future. Who better to learn from about how to be relevant in the NBA of tomorrow than championship guard himself.

We all dream of being the guard that was initially underrated and then leapt to stardom.

At Camp Rondo you will learn primarily how not to shoot 3's and how to miss an ungodly amount of uncontested free throws (also known as regular free throws)(also known as one of the easiest shots in the game)(also recognized as being easy due to their name being FREE THROWS, implying that they should be Free buckets)(also the type of shot which shouldn't be at all difficult to make for a below average sized, coordinated, highly skilled guard who gets paid millions of dollars to be good at making free throws).

Along with this Rondo will be giving master classes on how to not really get along with team mates, and how to quit on a team mid series. More importantly, in a way that will get you hated by an entire franchise and untrusted by many others.

Welcome to your Future kids. Everything you hear about the new NBA is a lie. As a guard there is no need to shoot threes, when you could otherwise pass up open layups to pad your assist numbers, free-throws never got anyone anywhere (James Harden), and what is the point of being liked by others when you can truly love yourself.

Sorry for the satire -

Thursday 21 May 2015

The Irrational Confidence Guys: Mr and Mr Smith

Two Smiths, two irrational confidence guys and two players who have won important playoff games for their teams. In fact, both came up absolutely huge, and thats the point of an irrational confidence guy, sometimes it pays off.

Josh Smith


Houstons mid-season acquisition paid off. Josh Smith was essentially dropped by the Pistons this year due to his poor fit in the team. Again and again he has been critiqued for the extreme amount of deep two's and threes he takes as the athletic big man that he can be. Although the thing that makes Josh irrational, is despite the lack of success as a shooter, he just keeps on pulling the trigger. Now we look now with him at Houston and think yeah its fine, thats the offence, shoot lots of threes, but he was doing this well before he put on a rockets uniform.
In recent past it has been almost laughable how eager he can be to get up ill-advised shots, although isn't that why you want an ICG on you team, because one day, it might just work out.

That day eventually came for  Josh Smith, game 6 of the western conference semi-finals, a closeout game where the Clippers had the Rockets on the ropes. Yet with Harden on the bench, all those ridiculous threes seemed to be just fine.

 on'ya JSmooth.

JR Smith


A rather different ICG, although one just the same. JR is the guy that can go 3 of 18 for a game, or 8 of 12 from 3, you never know. Although today he is growing up slightly, having played beside a leader such as Lebron in a winning environment and not have the temptation of the raging night life available in NYC.

You never know what you are gonna get with JR, sometimes he can be massive. Ignite the offence with he shot making ability whilst playing reasonable defence, although other times he get punches someone and gets ejected.
You just never know -



Although he absolutely mutilated the Hawks in game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals. When it goes right with JR, it goes right.


Wednesday 20 May 2015

Breaking News: Austin Rivers takes over GM Responsibilities for Reeling Father


The Clippers Clipped.

Personally, in the past, I have disliked the notion of calling the clippers chokers because they have been unable to reach the conference finals. Sure they haven't made it and they have been good enough, although its not like they are playing in the NBA's 2nd division (the East). They have been competing with the likes of the OKC Thunder and Spurs for the last 4 playoffs, and to say they choked because they didn't win is ridiculous, they just got beaten by different teams.

Although after this 7 game series with the Houston Rockets, I'm not too sure. They were the better team, playing better basketball, and had a 3-1 lead in the series. This year is the first in which they have been the favorites to make the conference finals (after beating the spurs). They were comfortably favoured, yet they couldn't finish the job. So maybe now we can justify calling them chokers, but ill leave that up to you.

Game 7 was a mess for the Clippers, after watching it again, they just got beaten. From the get go they just didn't look like the team they were in game the first 4. They were shaken. Their big three had great statistical games sure, but that's what happens when you play just about every minute. And to me, that was the biggest problem. For Game 7 the Clippers came out slow, they didn't have the urgency they needed to be playing with, and they couldn't match the Rockets. Chris Paul didn't start aggressive enough, and when he really started to get it going it almost felt too late. A lot of the problems we all knew the Clippers had, ended up coming back to bite them, they just didn't have enough players they could rely on in the playoffs. And it resulted in a team, that just seemed mentally, not to mention physically, exhausted.



Since the crushing game 7 loss, fingers are being pointed. Because who put this team together for the 2014-15 NBA season anyway, Coach/GM Doc Rivers. Doc is undeniably one of the best Coaches in the league, although his tenure as the general manager of the Clippers has not been as successful as many expected. With the Dudley trade, Hawes accusation (and burying) and the self sacrificing effort to keep his own son in the league, Doc created a title contender with only 6.25 capable players, sometimes less.

The avalanche of expectations is now crashing down upon the champion head coach.

Although in breaking news, sources report that the Head Coaches favourite son has stepped up and taken the role as general manager to allow his father to focus more on leading the team.

After an up and down postseason Austin felt like he wasn't being utilised how he had hoped. He admitted that after being purchased, at the high cost of his fathers human soul, he would be given a high position in the team, simply because of his dads favour.
Austin has thus decided to step up and take over management responsibilities for the basketball organisation.
Clearly covering up the frustration he is experiencing due to his lack of minutes, he said about the move "That's what we do in this family, when one of us is struggling the rest of us are here to help out."

In response to the move, Doc refused to respond although was obviously disgusted and disappointed with this offsprings actions. He was heard mentioning off record "that at least I don't have to coach his arse anymore."

We imagine that this may cause an extreme rift in both the family life and working life of the duo. As we have seen around the head office tension can be the undoing of teams, although we can only hope that that this Rivers duo turns out more successful than Docs solo escapades.

- Sorry for the Satire

Tuesday 19 May 2015

Can the Conference Finals redeem the Eastern Conference?


Really, it was all heading to this, even though for most of the time, it didn't seem like it at all. The Atlanta Hawks, the epitome of team basketball in the modern era. Or at least they can be, or we think they can because they once were, for a bit.
Earlier this year they went on a 19 game win streak, driven by team basketball which shocked everyone. They moved the ball, stretched the floor, Kyle Korver shot the crap out of it from the two spot in their Eastern All Star line-up. A "star studded" team which many have agreed doesn't have a star at all. seriously, who is their best player? It can be each of their starting five at any given time.


Although, they ended the season playing reasonably average basketball, and through the first few rounds of the playoffs were not impressing anyone despite finishing with the Easts best record (60-22).

Say what you like about the awfully miserable, catastrophically old, even laughable NBA organisation we know as the Brooklyn Nets, yet they did put up some sort of fight and gave the Easts one seed a bit of trouble. And even without John Wall for the most part the Wizards had many people thinking that we were going to be seeing BB's delicious jumper for at least another round. The Hawks seemed to have lost their flair, some games they just couldn't hit shots, and others their team defence just wasn't up to scratch, and now many are left wondering if we are ever going to see the team that shocked the East.
Although despite the adversity they faced in the playoffs, they are still here, and so are the Cavs.

Whom have had to overcome their fair share of problems. Primarily coming in the form of injuries. Unlike Atlanta the Cavs started off the year in an absolute mess, which is expected. No team who has brought a whole new design together, is good straight away. Especially when three high ego players who demand a lot of the ball play together for the first time.

Although they made some major changes, got their defence sorted out and brought it all together to finish the season on a high. Then the playoffs hit, along with the plague of injuries. Yet, they are still here. Due to some outrageous play from those they had left, and a supporting cast carrying Lebron's poor efficiency (for him), both shooting the ball and controlling it.
Last year in the playoffs he averaged 56% from the field and 40% from deep, this year so far just 42% FG and an abysmal 14% from three (Per: basketball-reference.com). Got to mention also the apocalyptic failure, collapse, choke, whatever you want to call it from the Bulls which did help them out some. Seriously the Bulls couldn't have had a much better opportunity to finally beat Lebron. But again he knocked them down like a teenage guys confidence that just cant get his high school sweetheart to go out with him.

Think about this, if I told you at the start of the playoffs that the 4 top seeds from each conference would be playing each other in the conference finals; you would have laughed at me, or at least have had a great deal of questions. Sure the Cavs and Warriors were favourites to come out, but you would have said, "are you sure, are Houston even a real 2 seed, and the Hawks haven't been playing great, and don't count out the Spurs and Clippers man?"
So we get to the 2nd round and all is on track, and I tell you again, that 1 and 2 seeds will make the conference finals.
After game 1 of each we defiantly wouldn't have believed it, each team lost, Kevin love is out, the Bulls are looking pretty good. The Clippers just passed the Spurs and look like they may sweep the Rockets and the Hawks continue to be average.
So many times throughout the last few weeks it seemed highly unlikely that we would be where we are now. JR suspension, Kyrie injury, Clippers go up 3 to 1, The Truth (PP) trash talking the Hawks bench and then nailing the 3 in game 5.
Yet somehow, even though several times we may not have been able to believe it, the four teams with the "best chance" of making it are here.

And now, in the East at least, bias's aside, we have what we have all really been wanting to see. Hawks-Cavs.
All season long we have been whinging about the peasants that make up the Eastern conference compared to the kings of the West.
The only real beacons of hope were a transcendent basketball machine that went on a regular season tear before slowing down, and a team lead by its super star that once got rejigged starting to make some noise.

And now they are the two that are left. At the climax of the conference the two that kept us interested through the season are the only ones which remain. The Cavs a few men down from where they started and the Hawks still underachieving, yet that may just create the best result for all us fans. There is a chance that this matchup may single handily reconcile and rectify the rubble that has been the 2014-15 East Coast basketball venture.


Wednesday 3 September 2014

The FIBA World Cup: The Unveiling of the Next Shaq

There has never been a basketball player much like Shaquille O'Neal. The 7 footer who will forever been known as the most dominant player of all time, until now. Shaq was the definition of a beast, he pushed others around like a child pushing around toy cars and made his opponents look like that very kid. We have never seen someone much like him, the combination of immense size, immeasurable strength and irrefutable power. Although with the coming of the FIBA world cup has also arrived the second coming of this monstrous type of basketball player.



Only a few games in it is undeniable as to the emergence of the next Shaq like superstar. Coming in the form of one of our very own Australian ballers. They call him the "Outback Shaq,"and they call him that for a reason.

That Asian Guy is 7 foot 2 and weighs 123kgs
Nate Jawai, the Outback Shaq, built like a truck, moves like a deer and has a booty to be jealous of. He truly has all the attributes needed to become the next Shaq, I suppose only time will tell. Considering, that since he was born in august 2001 he has just ticked over to 13 years old. The 6 foot 10 Australian teenager has an extremely promising future and during a recent interview was asked about that very thing. Although due to his teenage stage in life his voice broke several times and he ended up just walking off embarrassed. His mother, who travels with him everywhere and still tucks him into bed later told reporters that since he had an early growth spurt, "puberty seems to be taking its time."
As the back up centre, its hard to say exactly what his future will show, due to the lack of heavy minutes, although we can be certain he will be as good as the famous Shaquille O'Neal.

Several NBA scouts are already reporting back to their respective teams on the 13 year old centre. Saying "yes he is young, but just think how much growing he has ahead of him."
A Spurs scout wondered "is he actually 13?" Although that scout has not been heard from since asking the question and it is recommended that no one else do so.

Be aware, and be waiting, because the Outback Shaq is going to take over the basketball world. Touchstone Pictures knows this, and have recently offered Jawai a lead role in their latest film. A story about a rough outback Australian kid from a broken home who is sad about his dad or something and then runs into a massive black genie and then a heap of incoherent bullcrap happens. They are calling it KaShiiiiiiii#$%^ttttttttttt.

- Sorry for the satire -

Saturday 2 August 2014

Offseason Boredom: NBA Playoffs Historically, where basketball actually happens.

The Boston herald, under the Celtics and NBA category just posted an article about how an NBA referee is going to marry her long time partner. I'm so sorry palmer, but I care more about the itching unwanted lump on the underside of my lower leg than I do about your impending nuptials.
The majority of offseason moves are over, just waiting on Kevin Love to hurry up and flipping happen. But besides that we are into the ongoing drone of the offseason. The world champs will come around soon I suppose, which will be great to get to see Anthony Davis and KD wreck havoc on the world. Alongside a band of guards, besides Klay, all of whom were in the conversation for worst Defender in the League. (Jimmy Harden, Steph Curry, Damian Lillard, and Kyrie Irving, D Rose who couldn't stop anyone last year, and assuming John Wall doesnt make it), (which he should because it would be so much more fun to watch, they should play him at the 2 with Steph).

Also looks like Jim had quite the lazy offseason.
Maybe Harden learnt a few too many things from Hasheem back in the day. In light of this, why hasn't there been any talk about the outrageous slapping that Houston took this offseason? In the year it has all been leading up to, their big break out, they just got considerably worse. Whoring themselves out for a star who never came.

Anyway, I also don't really understand why there is so much talk about season stats. Fans love raw stats, I get that, and thats fine, its fun to look at box scores and season averages. Although there isn't nearly enough conversation about postseason stats. Because really, that is the time when basketball, real competitive basketball actually happens. During the season, players are resting, teams have stopped trying and basketball doesn't completely happen. This is a look back on some of the best stat lines from Finals MVP's over the years going back to as late 1980. A real fan should have a historical awareness of how good some players actually were, when it really mattered.

I totally understand and agree that raw stats don't tell us even close to everything, but it's still fun. Only listing the best and most important ones, (these are playoff averages, not just Finals).

1980 MVP - Magic Johnson (rookie)
PPG    - 18.3
APG   - 9.4
TRPG - 10.5
SPG   - 3.1
PER   - 22.1

1983 MVP - Moses Malone
PPG    - 26
TRPG -18.2
SPG    -1.5
BPG   -1.9
PER   - 25.7

1984 MVP - Larry Bird
PPG    - 27.3
APG   - 5.9
TRPG -11.1
SPG   -2.3
BPG   -1.2
PER   - 26.3

1986 MVP - Larry Bird
PPG    - 25.9
APG   - 8.7
TRPG - 9.3
SPG   - 2.1
PER   - 23.9

1987 MVP - Magic Johnson
PPG    - 26.2
APG   - 8
TRPG - 13
PER   -  26.2

1990 MVP - Isiah Thomas
PPG    - 20.9
APG   - 8.0
TRPG - 5.5
SPG   -2.2
PER   - 21.0

1993 MVP - Michael Jordan - (along with every other year being just about the same)
PPG    - 35.1
APG   -  6.0
TRPG - 9.7
SPG   - 2.2
BPG   - 1.0
PER   - 32.0

1994 MVP - Hakeem Olawajuan
PPG    - 33.1
APG   - 4.5
TRPG -11.1
SPG   - 1.7
BPG   - 4.0
PER   - 27.7

1999 MVP - Shaquille O'Neal
PPG    - 30.7
APG   - 3.1
TRPG -15.4
BPG   - 2.4
PER   - 30.5

2003 MVP - Tim Duncan
PPG    - 24.7
APG   - 5.4
TRPG -15.4
BPG   - 3.3
PER   - 28.4

2006 MVP - Dwyane Wade
PPG    - 28.4
APG   - 5.0
TRPG -5.9
SPG   - 2.2
BPG   - 1.2
PER - 26.4

2007 MVP - Tony Parker
PPG    - 24.7
APG   - 5.8
TRPG -3.4
SPG   - 1.1
PER - 18.7

2009 MVP - Kobe Bryant
PPG    - 30.1
APG   - 5.5
TRPG -5.3
SPG   - 1.7
PER - 26.8

2012 MVP - LeBron James
PPG    - 30.3
APG   - 5.6
TRPG -9.7
BPG   - 0.9
STL    - 1.9
PER - 30.3

Obviously I skipped a few, Mr Big Shot, because that was more of a team performance, and same with Dumars and Kawhi. Not to bring them down in any way although their performances just weren't on par with some of the others. As fans we should have a far stronger appreciation for the the legends of the game, because of what they did when it truly counted. Not during the dull marathon of the regular season but the exciting sprints of the playoffs, when every game is played to make the season worth while.

Comment, on anything you pull out of this. From who was the most impacting MVP legend of the last 30 years to why it is forgotten that Wade's and Kobe's lines where almost identical. Go ahead.

Take a moment to remind yourself of the greats so you don't go insane due to reading the 59th article on the Love trade that hasn't happened yet or the marriage of long time lovers.